I know I shouldn't bother with the blurb but again the term "formally gifted" appears. True, there's a variety/awareness of forms, and they're unobtrusive, which to some people is a sign of skill. But they're also rather hard to discern, with non-rhymes and half-rhymes added rather randomly. Rhyming pairs like "hill/bottle", "born/London", "roses/hours", "abandoned/Austin" appear. "Dead Fish" might or might not rhyme the 1st line with the last, the 2nd with the next to last, etc - it's hard to tell, but I presume there must be some reason for the line-breaks (in particular the paragraph break). "The Glassworks" is right-aligned (well, why not? It just about suits the content) with rhymes like "heights/fit". The language doesn't feel "under pressure". Page 13 has terza rima with rhymes like "fade/thread/code" and "lost/tests/past" scattered amongst stronger rhymes. What do the stronger rhymes signify?
All the same, I like his imagery, observation and associations even if he does use too many words. E.g.
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A tunnel, unexpected. The carriage lights we didn't notice weren't on prove their point and a summer's day is cancelled out, its greens and scattered blue, forgotten in a instant that lasts the width of a down, level to level, a blink in London to Brighton in Four Minutes that dampens mobiles - conversations end mid-sentence, before speakers can say '...a tunnel' - and the train fills with the sound of itself |
Even "Umbrella" has its moments, though "Relic" is going too far.
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