"Darkhaired" by Olive Broderick (Templar, 2010)

A pamphlet. I'm not keen on poems that try to describe music. These poems have that feel even when music's not the subject. A poem entitled "A poem only in translation" has a note that says "(after the Eastern European poet who refused to read her poem in its original language)". It's unsurprizing that the poet's not named. There are few proper nouns in the booklet - few specifics, few crisp, incisive phrases or sound effects. Here are 2 of the early punch-lines

A width of water still Lies between us and The far shore (p.2)

This is too close to stating the obvious, I think. The next uses many words for an image that's commonly used -

An undetected wave reaches further forward than the last but is caught by the undertow and forced to withdraw. (p.3)

The wordiness and use of abstracts is clear in this next extract too - "into your domain", "things", "into your own region"

and I can hear how you have been rising to take my place, drawing into your domain those things about me that please you most, retreating deep into your own region (p.6)

When we get particulars, they don't always mean anything in particular, and line/stanza-breaks interfere

their arms are the closed loop of an electrical circuit that carries a compound core-to-core which broken down will always yield a different composition (p.13)

Here's another concluding image - nice enough observation, but spread across 3 stanzas the effect's diluted.

Many of the adept steer clear of the faux pas of nervous beginners; but there are some who leave their other, briefly, to offer an invitation to a novice, lead her to the floor. (p.13)

Perhaps a couple dancing symbolises "body" and "mind", but it's too deft for me. Other readers may love the style.

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