I like paragraph 2 on p.14. I like the idea of "Property playground" but not its execution. I like the title on p.36 - "Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe and a report to tell me how dangerous it is". I like "In memory of my red RNLI hat". A few of the more raw poems begin well enough - e.g. "Mercury poisons me" - "I feel wrapped in metal/ my kidneys are pissing toxic tales// I've forgotten your name again/ my skin becomes pink and peels"; They open wounds/ tearing off emotions like plasters" (p.35)
I didn't like p.13, 19, 22, 42, 44, 48, 56. Where I expect a punch-line too often there's banality. An insight which merits a section on p.27 is "Lighthouses/ remind me/ that despite darkness/ there is always light.". p.31 ends with "The sun goes down on City Lights where ideas open up like books, minds, and hearts". List poems are a problem. "Border" is a list ended by "From space there are no borders" Really? "Wildlife of Fraggle Rock" is another list - "Noisy mallard ... A cute rabbit ... A solitary heron ... A Christmas-card Robin". "Charlestown Harbour, Cornwall" begins with "Carefree boys swim,/ bob like buoys" and ends with "I harbour this feeling.".
If you're going to write about poems and IKEA it had better be good because several people (me included) have done it before. "Finding a poem in IKEA" might have preceded them all.
The punctuation and line-breaks of "Cormorant" puzzles me even more than that of the other poems. He tries rhyme in "By the book", which begins with
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She does things by the book while giving me an evil look no reason for hands to be shook |
"I think that's the trick with Cambridge/ hang around long enough and suddenly you stick" (from "Cambridge Problem"). Damn, my secret's revealed.
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