"All hail the new puritans" by Nicholas Blincoe and Matt Thorne (eds) (Fourth Estate, 2000)

They begin with a 10 point, single page manifesto which the authors signed up to. Then there's an introduction to elaborate the manifesto, including -

• In the name of clarity, we recognise the importance of temporal linearity and eschew flashbacks, dual temporal narratives and foreshadowing ... Flashbacks are a cheap trick ... I have no problem with dual narratives generally, especially in longer fiction. But for this project we wanted to force the included writers into putting everything into a single narrative strand.
• All our texts are dated and set in the present day. All products, places, artists and objects named are real ... Current historical fiction seems to be written with the sole purpose of denying life
• We are moralists, so all texts feature a recognisable ethical reality

"Mind Control" (Scarlett Thomas) begins at a cracking pace, then fades a little. In "Monaco" a photographer recounts the lead-up to a photo taken during the Monaco Grand Prix (a pretty female spectator orgasming as a car speeds past), giving some historical info. "A Ghost Story (Director's Cut)" - Jim visits Martha who he met at film school. She and Gareth have a nice house. During discussion with their young cleaner, Karen, Jim reveals that he had a sort of breakdown when his film got some bad reviews (one said that Jim was "a failed magic realist", which might be an allusion to the manifesto). He's an ex-alcoholic too.

"Short Guide to Game Theory". About a Dragon's Den boardgame conference, where supposed industrial espionage leads to assault. "Mr Miller" - A bar monologuer, having left a soggy parcel with the bartender to dry, tells the narrator that people who talk about suicide don't go on to do it. But an hour after leaving the bar, he's found dead, hanging from a lamp-post. The parcel contains the pros/cons of suicide written when in his early teens after he was jilted. In "Better than well" someone wakes up after having fluoxetine, and ponders. In "Skunk" the narrator visits friends in Paris, and during an afternoon walk shares skunk with a woman he meets, a friend of his hosts. But she has an adverse reaction. Confused, she takes a taxi. The story ends when he receives a phone call at 12.30am

After several stories I wasn't fussy about I like Matt Thorne's "Not as bad as this". It had the "textual simplicity" encouraged by the manifesto. I enjoys working out the relationships. The narrator Rob has been asked by his ex, Chloe, to stay with her and her father for a few days because her father wouldn't won't talk. Above Chloe's bed, there's a lifesize nude of Chloe done by the girlfriend of Chloe's sister. Rob leaves in the night with the painting once he realises that he might have to stay for a while (he's slept with Chloe).

In "Facing the Music" Jane, the 15 y.o. narrator goes out to see a gig, lying to her single mother that she's babysitting. When she gets to the venue she finds that the gig's been cancelled because te lead singer's ill. She phones the lead singer and he's not ill. She'll be in big trouble when she gets home - she's told lies to cover up earlier lies. The "Three Love Stories" total 3 pages and aren't really worth it.

The narrator in "Monkey See" (Matthew Branton) is a 40 y.o. policeman whose job is to look at computer porn. He's remarried to 45 y.o Fran. She wants him to change jobs. They've not had sex for 4 months. Her daughter's an art student whose works use porn ironically. He gets sexual pleasure looking through Fran's family photos in the loft. In part 2 a few months later they visit a swingers club for the first time. He's hoping it will rekindle something. Fran enjoys it even more than he does. The story's rather long, but I like the dead-pan delivery.

"Two Holes" - BigPete's lost the belt where each hole represents a woman he's slept with. He hasn't added a hole for a year. He shares a flat with LittlePete. While searching, evidence is uncovered to suggest that his last lover slept with LittlePete. In "Poet" the narrator's "giving up smoking and his mistress of six months, and writing a sonnet every day instead" dedicated to his wife. There are hints at the end about why he and his wife are apart - "They'll be able to put this hospital thing behind them". Toby Litt's "The Puritans" features Jill and Jack (a couple) and John each do 8 hour shifts in the cellar of their Suffolk beach cottage, copying hard-porn video tapes. A young couple, Mark and Molly, arrive to rent the the next cottage for a week. Molly tells Jill that she's pregnant. She tried to seduce Jack. Mark tells Jack that she's mad, not pregnant, and tries to seduce Molly. At the end, the hard-porn boss appears. Jill and John are man-handled by Molly, Mark, John and the boss. Perhaps a porn-film's going to be made, rather like one described earlier in the story? In "Lovers" a young girl leaves her parents' home to start up life in a flat with her boyfriend. The 2 of them and her parents both seems like happy couples.

So in the end I liked the stories by Scarlett Thomas, Matthew Branton, Matt Thorne and Toby Litt.

Other reviews

• James Wood ()
• Judith Shulevitz (the reviews have been plentiful and negative ... the editors -- the tough-guy crime writer Nicholas Blincoe, 36, and the rave-scene novelist Matt Thorne, 27 -- required their contributors to sign a 10-point manifesto implicitly modeled on the one issued by the filmmakers of Dogma 95. ... The best piece in the collection, ''Skunk'' by Geoff Dyer, flouts the rules in a minor way -- it's set a year in the past -- but is none the worse for sticking to them otherwise ... It's tempting to dismiss ''All Hail the New Puritans'' as a clumsy joke, the impudent gesture of cocksure youth or a marketing ploy, if not all three. Supremely silly as it can sometimes be, however, the manifesto does demand to be taken seriously at its most fundamental level: as a statement of an intention to revolt by being revolting.)
• workshyfop (Looking at the group as a whole, there is a clear slant towards the white, metropolitan and male, but the roster contains a relatively impressive mixture of established authors and rising stars. Coupled with a deliberately controversial and media-friendly manifesto, it’s no surprise the arts supplements were interested. ... It soon becomes apparent that the strictures on punctuation and flashbacks severely hamper the stories contained within. In particular, the need to create rounded characters within a purely linear narrative means the authors stuff their dialogue with exposition ... Many of the stories lack any sort of conclusion, possibly influenced by rule nine, ‘all texts feature a recognisable ethical reality’. ... Perhaps, though, the anthology’s problems are best summed up by Geoff Dyer’s Skunk. Dyer is clearly a cut above most of the rest of the contributors, but seems hamstrung by the manifesto. ... The New Puritans briefly satisfied a need in the literary world, their manifesto providing a controversial discussion point for arts shows and Sunday supplements desperate for a narrative. Unfortunately, the title proved to be more of a flag of convenience than a real meeting of like-minds.)