An audio book. Wallace is a black biology post-grad. He doesn't socialise much so the social events that he does attend are heavy with significance. He's vulnerable to slights and doesn't enjoy his life. Have weeks of his lab work been sabotaged?
His white "friends" are Cole and Vincent (a gay couple), Invay (straight) and Miller.
His father died a few weeks before. He's told nobody on campus until he suddenly blurts it out to Emma. He didn't go to the funeral. He's aware that such behaviour doesn't match social exceptations. He knows he's different. He know that people expect him to feel more grief. He says little at group gatherings, which makes what he says more significant.
We find out more. How he and Dayna hate each other. How Heinrich patiently got him through depression before exams. Wallace might be a borderline post-grad, or his supervisor might be over-demanding. He might have suffered sexual abuse as a child.
He notices people's smells and their appearance.
The lab nemantode worms provide useful analogies. There are other analogies - e.g.
- "the abandoned, mismatched mugs crouch in the back of the cupboard like children in foster care"
- "grief can feel diffuse and dense at once, like a flock of birds in the sky"
A friendship with hetero Miller suddenly erupts into sex. They wonder where it'll go. Wallace pours him water.
| The water level rose and rose until it was almost overflowing, spilling down their fingers. But it didn't. Wallace stopped just short of that point, the point at which water wavered on the very cusp of the container that meant to hold it, the point at which water swelled to an unbearable height before giving way, the point at which something must either recede or break and extend. "There." Wallace said, "Enjoy" |
And Miller does.
Wallace plays tennis (which provides bounteous analogies) with Cole (Wallace's "simplest" friend). In the first year they were close without ever being intimate. Now Cole's worried about Vincent being unfaithful. Cole's not an interesting enough character to fill a chapter, nor is Wallace's reponse/analysis.
The party chapter's theme is change - whether one should; whether one should try to change others; whether Wallace's attempt to become a new person at uni means he has to be silent about his past. The party's at Miller's shared house. Wallace reveals to the party things said in confidence by Cole. It all gets rather awkward. Friends are trying to pair Miller up with a female guest. Later, in Miller's room, Miller asks Wallace to tell him about his past. Wallace says how he was raped by a house-guest and how his parents did nothing. He says about an early lover. He wants Miller to reject him because of this. Instead, Miller replies with a confession of his own, about an outburst of violence. Wallace slips away in the night.
Miller thinks he doesn't understand friendship (though he tries to analyse it). He thinks he understands cruelty though. Later he thinks that "The truly awful thing about beauty is that it reminds us of our limits. Beauty is a kind of unrelenting cruelty". His female supervisor hints that he might consider leaving (he seems to be struggling academically, and there are accusations that he's anti-woman). He talks to his friend Bridget, a S.E. Asian. Each feels racially isolated. Wallace tells her about his father's death. He realises that there are responsibilities involved on both sides when sharing confidences.
Several people say that he's selfish. Maybe he's thin-skinned, with a chip on his shoulder and knives in his back. Maybe the micro-aggressions added up. Stress affects him - he vomits a few times in the novel and "Sleep will not meet him"
Miller arrives late at Wallace's house, drunk after a day out with friends. He's still upset about Wallace's lack of reaction after Miller's confession, about how Miller slipped away. Neither knows what future they have together. He knocks Wallace about a bit, after provocation - Wallace seems used to violence with casual sex. They go to the lake. Miller begins to teach Wallace to swim, to trust. Miller says he used to relax in the water by imagining being inside Jonah's whale. Wallace take him to his apartment's rooftop where he likes to chill out. There's a new dawn.
I like how issues are kept in the balance throughout the novel. Is he being treated more unfairly than others in the lab and socially? How much self-sabotage is involved? Is he coping well under difficult circumstances? It's unclear.
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