"The Only Story" by Julian Barnes

An audio book. A first-person old man reflects on when he was 18 and met Susan, 48 and married, at the tennis club. Each was the other's 2nd lover. He's a rather careful, thoughtful, plodding narrator. Age difference never mattered to him, or money. He believes that when one sees others in love, one sees the common traits, but when in love oneself, one's aware of the unique features. He's explicitly selective about his narrative - his degree subject is of no consequence so he doesn't mention it; sometimes he corrects or augments earlier descriptions; sometimes he wonders about his accuracy. He's often at Susan's house, sometimes staying the night. Susan and her husband Gordon (an alcoholic?) have had their own bedrooms for years. When he and Susan are kicked out of the tennis club they fear they'll be a scandal, but nothing happens. After 2 years they elope. We're told they live together for 10 years and that she's now dead.

In part 2 they are living together in a house she buys. They sometimes take lodgers. He likes her to be a free spirit. He realises she has more to lose - a past - than he does. Retrospectively we learn that Gordon had short bouts of violence - to him (twice) and to her (she lost 4 front teeth). He sometimes refers to himself as "you". He's studying to be a solicitor and is away during the day. She shows signs of depression - secret drinking, etc. He lies to protect her, lies to himself about the amount of her drinking. He's 25 and doesn't know how to help. His only theory of life is that love solves everything. They haven't made love for a while. The 2nd half of this part is my favourite passage of the book - how they both self-delude about the depth of the problem. It could as easily be a description of dementia. He's surprised by how many incompatible emotions he can simultaneously feel. He moved out - just down the road. 2 promising relationships break down because of his sense of duty towards her. He moves back for a few years, then tells her daughters that he's going to work abroad.

In part 3 there's more 3rd person voice. He's more reflective about his life. He worked in several countries, promising himself never to get too involved with anyone. At 50 he returns, lives in Somerset. He used to think that Love implies Truth. He used to see Love opposed to Duty in films/books. He was surprised how Love could turn into just as strong Pity. Perhaps everyone experiences a love which sets a template for life, a story that other loves have to emulate or react against.

Too many slow passages.

Other reviews

• Kate Clanchy (There is a continual, delicate play with personal nouns: Paul is “I” only when he is with his love; elsewhere, he wears himself away to a generalised “you”, and at the end, a conventionalised “he” who can only flick back to his “I” at moments of extreme pain)
• Alex Preston (The ending is quietly breathtaking, evidence of the subterranean magic that’s wrought by those seemingly austere sentences.)
• Eric Martiny (It would be unfair to fault Barnes for the repetitiveness of this final section as the plight which afflicts the heroine inevitably condemns her to endless repetition of the same self-destructive act.)