"History of wolves" by Emily Fridlund

An audio book.

Linda (her first-person PoV), 37, looks back on her life. At school the new, male history teacher, Mr Grierson, seemed interested in schoolgirls. A classmate, Lily, was rumoured to be having fun with him, the rumours gaining details over the weeks. He chose Linda to deliver a talk for an inter-school competition. She did it about the "History of wolves" and got an originality prize. Lily got pregnant. Grierson was put on trial (Lily had made an accusation about him that she later retracted). Child porn was found in his house. He hadn't slept with Lily though he admitted he'd thought about it. He got 7 years.

Linda lived in a lake-cabin. Classmates thought her a bit odd. Her mother, after leaving a commune, became a regular church-goer. When 15, Linda looked after Paul, 4, for $10 a day. His father was an astronomer, his mother was Patra. They invited her to spend the weekend away with them. She went. The father quizzed her about God. Later, at a trial, she's asked about the parents, particularly the father. Paul died of a brain swelling. Linda had tried to understand Paul's parents. The father was a 3rd-generation Christian Scientist. Patra had asked him out when he was her Prof. They were acquitted of negligence for religious reasons.

After her father died, Linda went away, not talking to her mother for 2 years. She slept with a mechanic who had a psychology degree and used Tarot cards. She learnt that her mother started living in the shed after the roof came off the cabin, and returned to her. She tried to track down Lily and Mr Grierson. She faked a letter from Grierson and gave it to Lily. She could imagine herself Lily by following the steps of a ritual.

Is there a difference morally between thinking about something and doing it? Grierson and Christian Scientists ponder over it. Linda wonders too, right to the end.

There's a lot of jumping forwards and backwards in time. Once the trial is mentioned, details from it are frequently mentioned.

Other reviews

• Sarah Ditum (when everything is explicitly foreshadowed, nothing is at stake. Fridlund carries on meticulously dressing her traps long after they’ve been sprung. In some ways, this is the standard literary fiction shortcoming of thinking plot is the least important part. In others, Fridlund’s weaknesses are her own. Characters tend to be vague outlines with tics. ... there are none of the subtle mechanisms that make characters coherent – and capable of acting surprisingly. There is only one mood: slow and sad)
• Lauren Kocher (The mystery surrounding Paul’s death does its work to pull the reader along, but Linda and her longing is our focal point ... Perhaps the most compelling part of this book is Linda’s reflection on the events of her childhood. By this point in the novel, she has gained enough distance to look back objectively, though she is still unable to understand herself)