"Somebody I Used to Love" by Eve Ainsworth

An audio book.

In 2022, Gemma is 32, living with Richard. They're both teachers. Her father died 27 years before in a house fire. Her mother is still struggling. V, her friend, wants a child. When Gemma was 20, Will gave up the chance of touring the States with a band to put down a deposit on a flat for the 2 of them. He's now engaged to Nicola and his brother is touring with the band.

On the 2022 anniversary of Gemma's father's death, Will crashes the car he's in and loses some memories. He thinks it's 2019 and that Gemma is his girlfriend. Nicola takes him back to their home. He feels like "a stranger in my own life". He doesn't like his new friends. He moves out to live with Gemma's mother, Di. He used to work in Mel's pub. She was a good friend but she's moved away. The last thing he recalls is an evening in her pub. What happened that night? Gemma still likes this old version of Will. She fantasises about him when in the shower. His brother Jack is on tour in the States. Will slept with his girlfriend Abby in the bad days.

We're repeatedly told that Will messed things up without us being told the details - variously excuses are given by people for not telling him or us. Finally we learn that Di's unextinguished fag had started the fire. She got drunk in Mel's pub one anniversary. Mel (banned from driving) drove her home. On the way she knocked Will off his bicycle. He'd seemed ok, but his behaviour changed. The recent knock seems to have undone the damage. Gemma doesn't understand why Will and Di got on so well, and still do. Di and Will talk about accepting the kind of person they are.

Will recalls arguing with Nicola about her buying too much. He recalls that he hadn't proposed.

We now get Nicola's PoV. She knew he never loved her. she manipulated him into the type of person she wanted him to be. She tells him everything that happened that last night. She visits Gemma, showing bruises that she claims were made by Will. Later, Nicola's brother phones Gemma to tell her that Nicola had been in the car with Will and had caused the crash. Richard had convinced Will that Gemma was pregnant by showing him V's scans. In the end Gemma decides to go travelling in a campervan, and Will going to join his brother's band. They'll meet up again in a year and see if they're still in love.

We're told too many times that Will messed up everything before we find out what happened. Will's voice sometimes becomes too literary ("still feeling insecurity gnaw at me", he thinks). Di has lofty moments too - "you refused to be drawn into negative thinking". In "What Alice Forgot" by Liane Moriarty, the main character loses her memory and feels like an imposter in her own life. She's puzzled that she fell out with a man who seems ok. She's more self-analytical than Will is.

Other reviews

• urban bookworm (they all come up with excuses as to why they can’t tell him. The guy has a brain injury! Surely someone would tell him? To me this plotline felt contrived to keep the anticipation building and pad out the book a bit – the whole ‘what did Will do?’ interested me at first, but by the time we finally find out, it wasn’t a surprise as we’d pretty much worked out what happened by then anyway.)
• Goodreads (3.6 at the moment)