Over 200 pages of poems, a few in Swedish. In each of the 2 sections the poems are in alphabetical order of their titles. I presume that means they're not chronological. I think some kind of time-ordering would have helped - maybe each poem could have been timestamped.
There are quite a few typos - e.g. "Decieving" (p.90); "l'amoure" (p.93); "appereance" (p.95). There's lots of repetition, many choruses. Some extracts will give a flavour -
- Why do I have a different brain?/ Why am I lonely?/ Why am I the only one? ... Why do I not belong? (p.15)
- I'm blinding myself again/ I'm numbing myself again/ I'm hiding myself away (p.23)
- sometimes I live to create/ create problems and worryings for myself/ I wish I lacked inspiration (p.30)
- All that matters is when you make me feel/ how good I really am, cause I forget it/ And how proud you are, that I made it/ against all the odds (p.36)
- But no, when it feels real/ it's probably a catch (p.42)
- I don't want your pieces/ they don't fit ... And I don't want your glue/ I just get more stuck (p.57)
- Please, let me/ disappear without guilt (p.59)
- Why am I still not comfortable/ in my own skin?/ Why do I keep apologizing/ when I don't even know what for? (p.95-96)
- Same old song and dance/ and I don't even known the rythm [sic]/ Dayrythm, Nightrythm/ I'm reaching out friends, please respond (p.114)
- And I try to be the steady wall/ as you lean/ but I can't hold up a strong facade/ as the earthquake under my feet increase/ and the panicking fear climbs my spine (p.120)
- Spraypaint me in color/ so I could be found (p.124)
- When I open up my mouth/ and let out the scream,/ nothing from my deepest/ comes out of me... (p.132)
- will you heal me again with our sins/ so we can be together alone all again/ and we fall. (p.137)
- I was a prisoner in my own mind and you sprung/ me from jail by sieving my thoughts,/ wipe the fog and give me a clearer vision (p.158)
"Pocket mirrors" might be my favourite.
